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What do honestly think of my newest poem? Suggestions are welcome!?
Lightweight clouds
of golden satin streak
across the dense blue sky,
swirling in a assortment
of gold and blue.
Then, a light plum
veil conceals the canvas
of day completely, as
the elderly moon and
the diamonds encrusting
the veil sparkles against
it in tranquillity.
Oh, how I wish
the veil of night
could conceal the
harmful flaws
that threatens lives,
like my inner turmoil.
Unfourtunately,
it only conceals the
day sky.
Peace,
i don't understand your message, a poem is more than just descriptive words. you have to have a message that will speak to others without having to weed through the adjectives
